(I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”

Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”

(The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)

Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”

(I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)

Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”

Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”

Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”

Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”

(My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)

Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”

Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”

Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”

(Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)

mommyto-robby:

drinkmasturbatecry:

razzledazzy:

netforce0:

descartes-and-thosecartes:

sensorydeprivationprincess:

turboslime:


Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it.Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?High five, America!


oh my god

bitch that’s the tubby custard machine


im crying

OMFG THIS POST FINALLY MADE IT TO MY DASHBOARD IM CRYING

"bitch that’s the tubby custard machine"
10,000 years from now on the dawn of a new civilization where we are all just brains in jars flying spaceships through the vast unknowable void, i will still be laughing my ass off at “bitch that’s the tubby custard machine”. this i vow.


This will forever be my favorite post on tumblr.

mommyto-robby:

drinkmasturbatecry:

razzledazzy:

netforce0:

descartes-and-thosecartes:

sensorydeprivationprincess:

turboslime:

Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it.

Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.

There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.

But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?

High five, America!

oh my god

bitch that’s the tubby custard machine

image

im crying

OMFG THIS POST FINALLY MADE IT TO MY DASHBOARD IM CRYING

"bitch that’s the tubby custard machine"

10,000 years from now on the dawn of a new civilization where we are all just brains in jars flying spaceships through the vast unknowable void, i will still be laughing my ass off at “bitch that’s the tubby custard machine”. this i vow.

This will forever be my favorite post on tumblr.

roachpatrol:

mishmonkey:

notanearlyadopter:

marilynhanson:

this means so much to me. so much

Okay but like actually this is the most thoughtful gift IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
It might seem to make more sense to give Ron the precious family heirloom (remember that Molly’s brother Fabian died in the First Wizarding War; Molly has held onto his watch out of sentimentality since then). But Ron is the sixth son in his (canonically financially-struggling) family. He’s been forced into hand-me-downs his whole life. If he’d gotten the watch with a dent in the back, he wouldn’t have appreciated it; he’d only have seen the flaw. And if his mum bought Harry a new watch instead of getting Ron one, Ron would have resented that. A new watch was a worthwhile expense to get Ron a rare taste of the luxury and individual attention he has always craved.
Harry, though. Harry has money; Harry has new things. What Harry does not have is family. Harry is an orphan. Other than one photo album and the invisibility cloak, he doesn’t have anything that came with family history attached. What Molly does here is give him that; she makes him part of the family, symbolically, by giving him an emotionally significant if physically imperfect item. She gives him love in a tangible form.

This makes me CRY

Even more sad: Molly didn’t just have one brother. She had two, Gideon and Fabian, and they were twins. They both died in the first war and Fred and George’s names are a deliberate remembrance of them. Molly is overbearing in protecting her sons and keeping them close, but losing her family isn’t an abstract threat to her. It’s something that’s already happened once. And she gives Fabian’s watch to Harry because he’s her kid too. He belongs in her family, and she’ll worry for him too, and fight for him, and afskfhgl I have so many herofeels for Molly Weasely the Supermum.  

roachpatrol:

mishmonkey:

notanearlyadopter:

marilynhanson:

this means so much to me. so much

Okay but like actually this is the most thoughtful gift IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

It might seem to make more sense to give Ron the precious family heirloom (remember that Molly’s brother Fabian died in the First Wizarding War; Molly has held onto his watch out of sentimentality since then). But Ron is the sixth son in his (canonically financially-struggling) family. He’s been forced into hand-me-downs his whole life. If he’d gotten the watch with a dent in the back, he wouldn’t have appreciated it; he’d only have seen the flaw. And if his mum bought Harry a new watch instead of getting Ron one, Ron would have resented that. A new watch was a worthwhile expense to get Ron a rare taste of the luxury and individual attention he has always craved.

Harry, though. Harry has money; Harry has new things. What Harry does not have is family. Harry is an orphan. Other than one photo album and the invisibility cloak, he doesn’t have anything that came with family history attached. What Molly does here is give him that; she makes him part of the family, symbolically, by giving him an emotionally significant if physically imperfect item. She gives him love in a tangible form.

This makes me CRY

Even more sad: Molly didn’t just have one brother. She had two, Gideon and Fabian, and they were twins. They both died in the first war and Fred and George’s names are a deliberate remembrance of them. Molly is overbearing in protecting her sons and keeping them close, but losing her family isn’t an abstract threat to her. It’s something that’s already happened once. And she gives Fabian’s watch to Harry because he’s her kid too. He belongs in her family, and she’ll worry for him too, and fight for him, and afskfhgl I have so many herofeels for Molly Weasely the Supermum.  

jamiebenn:

coyotelips:

MMM WHATCHA SAAAAAYYYY

I wasn’t going to reblog this and then I saw the caption.

(Source: fullmetalniku)